My Twisted & Wicked life

Ganun kahirap ang life ko nung high school. I only have myself and a couple of friends na nakakaintindi ng pinag dadaanan ko… mga friends na inaccept ako for who I am… unlike those hypocrites na gusto ka lang dahil matalino ka or gwapo ka…damn those people!!! they deserve to die!!!  I remember one time, nahuli ako ng school guard na nagyo-yosi sa likod ng annex building…Dinala ko sa Principal’s office, and as usual they called my brother… I was not given punishment dahil sa brother ko… pag labas ng prinicpal’s office…may eksenang naganap…my brother got so mad kaya he shouted at me ” napaphiya ako dahil sa ‘yo”…. Syempre na hurt ako dun…I shouted back “Gusto ko nga yun eh…para maramdaman mo naman yung nararamdaman ko every time people would compare you to me…Gusto ko maramdaman mo that you’re life is not as perfect as you think kasi part ako ng life mo…I’m doing this so people would know that i exist… so they would see me as me and not someone who is so not very much like you.. Alam ba ng mga tao that I am the one doing your essays? your poems? your english projects? No they don’t kasi all they know is that you are perfect… that you can do anything and everything and you are invincible… well they are wrong”….that scene craeted a fuzz sa school..I know kasi biglang iba ang treatment sakin ng mga teachers ko… I never had regrets sa mga sinabi ko…For how many months hindi ko kinausap yung brother ko…not even a word…kahit ilang beses ako kausapin ng parents ko to talk, i did not..because I was hurt. Then one night, I was already lying in my bed, pinuntahan nya ko sa room ko sar beside my bed…he was crying… sabi nya(not exact words but somehting like this) ”nami-miss ko na yung kapatid ko…he is not talking to me, kasi nasaktan ko sya…sabi ko sa kanya I’ll take care of him pero ako pala yung nakasakit sa kanya and I’m really really sorry…hindi ko alam…di ko alam kung kelan babalik yung brother ko but I’ll wait for him sana patawarin nya ko kagad..I’m so sorry…” pero I must admit na miss ko na din brother ko…so before sya lumabas ng room I said “I’m sorry…wag mo na uulitin ha”… after that mas maging close kami sa isa’t-isa…We never kept secrets frome ach other..he even knew I had a big crush sa best friend nya kaya parati nya ini-invite na mag sleep over sa bahay..hehehe.Now that he’s married and we seldom see each other, we still find time to text or call each other to say hi or update sa mga bagay-bagay…

Yesterday was not my usual friday. Halos every friday, I go out with my friends…gimick and inom to death, yung tipong parang wala ng tomorrow..But this time, I went out sa office early…I wanted to be alone… I need to breath pero ayoko ding umuwi ng maaga, so I decided to watch a movie alone…I watched the movie “Invisible”. naka-relate ako sa movie, because once in my life I was invisble. I was able to write this already sa ibang blog sites ko…but I’ll write it again.

      Invisible ako nung high-school ako…that’s why I never really liked high-school…I was always behind the shadow ng super genius kong brother…we went to the same highschool. One year lang pagitan namin ng brother ko that’s why lahat ng naging teachers nyaeh naging teachers ko…bad trip di ba…My brother is very intelligent lalo na sa Math and Science…He’s the school’s math and science whizard which happen to be the subject I was not really very good…People always compare me with my brother…my teachers  would always ask me “are you sure you’re the brother of so and so” or “Bakit di ka magpa-tutor sa brother mo” or worst “Ikaw ang latak ng kapatid mo”…Its also has to be noted that my brother is really good looking. lahat yata ng girls nung high school kami may crush sa kanya..even my classmates. He’s always the center of attention… and my brother loved it, kahit di nya alam it was eating me up…ng buong-buo. Pag magkasabay kami maglakad parati sya ang nakikita…never akong nakita.Mahirap pala magkaron ng kapatid na sa kanya umiikot ang mundo ng mga tao…he deprived me of the attention I needed para maramdaman ko that I am alive… that i exist, pero hindi naman nya alam what’s going on with me…I remember nung first day ko sa high school..I was so scared but he was there to tell me that he will take care of me, he even told me “ako bahal sa yo”, but things changed when he became famous…hindi nya naramdaman that I am starting to feel so insecure and worthless because people made me feel that way and that his ibeing insensitive to what’s going on with me is adding up to it…But it made me a strong person. that made me become the person I am right now…Strong..independent…unafraid of anything……

Today, i feel like writing about my sex boo-boo’s and blunders!! Ito yung mga sex encounters ko with guys na may konting ka-weirdo-han, naive or just plain and simple stupids!!!

Boo-boo #1  Bagets – I met this young (but of legal age ) bolaret in a chatroom…My gosh!!! kakabugin nitong batang ito si Aga Muhlach.. This guy will certainly become the type na magpapaiyak ng bading…. either because you’ll choke sa gigantic NOTA nya or iyak ka sa sakit if he fucks you. When Bagets asked me to drop by his pad… hello!!! flylalou ang hitad from QC to Makati. pag-pasok ko pa lang ng bahay nya, walang kaabog-abog laflafan na! When He started fucking me oh boy! twas good! Until the Boo-boo came… while fucking me, he has this unstoppable urge to sing… singing while fucking???!!! Whaaaat!!! kamusta naman yun!? Imagine yourself being fucked by a guy while singing “i’ll be” by edwin mc cain tinganan ko lang kung tigasan ka!!! It was such a big turn off so we ended up sucking each other na lang… this way he can no longer sing… para di kumanta, pasakan ang bibig ng Nota.

Boo-Boo #2 HEAVEN – Heaven was just an ordinary looking guy, but had the hardest dick of all… sucking him was so hard, as if may subo-subo kang tubo or bakal. But that’s not the worst yet.. In our first and only sex encounter, while we were in our kasarapang pag-fuck sakin he kept uttering  stuff like “Ohh God!! God…oh my god…shit…oh god..gosh..fuck…god..” ampotah! tawagin daw ba si God habang nakikipag sex sa kapwa lalaki…geezzz!!! hindi talaga ko tinigasan…nakokonsensya ko… baka biglang mga appear si god.

Boo-boo # 3 – KABAYO - I met Kabayo sa isang bar sa makati..we ended up in a motel.He was so fucking hot I must say. Nung mag enter kami sa mot-mot, walang sabi sabing naghubo pinatuwad ako and started fucking me…It was so panful that i asked him to stop at hugutin muna… but he was like a maniac… after 7 or 8 thrust…Pufff!!!! That’s it… During that time i felt I was raped… Final statement ko sa kanya ” Di ka na makakaulit sakin”

Mga bwakanang ina niyang mga yan!!! I can’t imagine I wasted my precious time with those loosers!!!

Last night I received a call coming from my ex-bf Ivan. It was only last night that I learnedĀ  I’m still in love with him and that I am still hoping that we will still be together… fuck shet!!! mukhang di na yata yun mangyayari… Our conversation last night goes like this:

Ivan : Hello!!! kamusta? date tayo! Miss na kita eh…

Me : Ganun?!!! horny ka na naman noh? Sabi ko na nga ba katawan ko lang gusto mo eh…

Ivan : kasama na din yun noh…ano date tayo?

Me: Ok sige sa friday night pwede ako…

Ivan: Di pwede sa friday…uwi from cebu yung partner ko…

Me : e ano naman?

Ivan : kelangan nasa bahay akp pag balik nya…

Me: Are you already living together?

ivan: Uhmm…Yeah!!

Me: (teary eyed) ganun naman pala eh..why don’t you just ask your partner na mag-date kayo?…

Ivan: Eh miss na nga kita eh…

Me : ako din naman eh..di na ba kita pwede agawin dyan sa partner mo?

Ivan: Bakit kelangang agawin?….friends naman tayo ah…

Me: ganun ba? cge tulog na ako… I have an early meeting tomorrow.

Ivan: So kelan tayo lalabas?

Me: I’ll check my schedule first…bye…

The words “friends naman tayo” really hurt me alot!! Fuckinangina!!! He just made me realize na being a friend na lang ang papel ko sa buhay nya…Isa pang problem is that no matter how many times nya ko saktan… i still love him…gago kasi ako eh…

I am such a “blog whore”, this is in fact my third blog site and hopefully the last that i’m going to create. The first blog site I created was in Friendster.com, but i decided to stop updating the site unless i want to expose everything about me…all my bitchyness and wickedness…to the entire friendster community. the second blog site I created was in myjournal.ph but for some odd reasons I can no longer access it… and this one I hope to update everyday… This blogsite is all about my twisted and wicked life. I am no fiction writer and have no intentions of becoming one, that’s why everything you will read here are unadulterated and purely real life situations!!!! I Invite people to post their comments, suggestions, and violent reactions.